Baby, Baby

Fly Me to the Moon

 
First Kiss by Kylie Adams
(Penguin, $6.99, PG-13) ISBN 0-451-21527-6
**
First Kiss failed the “pick up/put down” test, especially since I put it down to do the dishes. I only kept picking it up again for this review.

 Kiki Douglas’s life has always revolved around the fact that she is pretty. As Miss Texas ten years ago, she won first runner up in the Miss America Pageant. Currently, she is a broke, out of work actress in New York who’s been in three day time soap operas. Her most recent character, like the other two, has just been killed off.  

While shopping in an exclusive boutique with her friends, Kiki meets New York’s hottest couple Tom and Kirsten Brock. Tom Brock is the latest cabaret singing sensation. A New York Post photographer snaps a picture of Tom and Kiki in what seems to be a comprising position. Kiki was just picking up a charm from her bracelet. But the newspaper and tabloids blow it up into a big scandal.  

To avoid reporters, Kiki takes refuge in a hotel. The hotel, Affair, caters to those looking for a place to conduct an affair. Each room has a theme, like the May-December suite and the Mistress Hideaway. The hotel is owned and run by Fabrizio “Fab” Tomba. Fab is, of course, hot with a playboy reputation. Kiki and Fab’s attraction is immediate.

Kiki likes to think of her life and her friends’ lives as similar to Sex in the City. If the goal is Carrie and friends or campy, this book is completely off the mark.

The biggest negative in First Kiss is the unlikable characters. Kiki’s a self-absorbed, critical, snotty airhead whose first priority is appearances. She is a regular user of Botox, “the best medical advancement since…. penicillin!” Kiki spends $800 on a blouse because she’s told it looks great on her. Remember she’s broke. But she’s just got to have it, so she borrows money from her friend. Hello, it’s a shirt!

 The thread throughout the book is that Kiki is a bridesmaid in five weddings this year. One of those wedding is her brother’s. Her brother is marrying a woman from New Jersey – said as if it’s a scandal.

 Kiki’s blunt to the point of cruel. She emails the other bridesmaids and points out their physical flaws that present challenges in choosing a dress – one is too tall to be attractive and the other is an accountant. Yes, according to Kiki being an accountant is a physical flaw. She also emails the bride’s wedding planner. Kiki decides the only way this wedding is going to be tasteful is if she plans it all. The bride is from New Jersey, which to Kiki translates to tacky and gaudy.

 Then there are her over-the-top friends Suzi-Suzi and Danni. (These really are their names.) Suzi-Suzi is involved in a romantic triangle with married couple and thinks they should all go into therapy together. Danni is a devout Christian -- and a stripper. Yes, it’s that unrealistic.  

The romance between Fab and Kiki is not believable. It’s all based on sex, certainly important, but not a basis for love. But she does find out his favorite color. Must be true love.

First Kiss is book two of four in The Bridesmaid Chronicles. Kiki is one of the bridesmaids. The remaining books feature the other two bridesmaids and the bride from Kiki’s brother’s wedding. Hopefully, the other books include characters more likeable and realistic.

--Terry Lawrence


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