I Think I Love You

It Takes a Rebel

Our Husband

Seeking Single Male

Too Hot to Sleep

 
Cover Me by Stephanie Bond
(Harl. Tempt. # 964, $4.25, PG-13) ISBN 0-373-69164-5
**
Welcome to Green Acres where heartthrob Dr. Sam Long lives. He is a vet, and has moved to Jar Hollow NY, a little town where he cures cats and dogs, works with the local pound, treats cows for pink eye and helps mares give birth. Personality magazine discovered him after he saved some elderly folks in a fire (he is a volunteer fireman too). They put him on the cover of their magazine under the title of Local Hero.

Kenzie Mansfield is now in Jar Hollow. How she got there is a story in itself. She was celebrating her thirty-first birthday and her friends gave her a kit to make the perfect dildo. The kit suggests using a real man as the model with plaster of paris and some rubbery gel…okay, you get the idea. On the night they gave it to her, she met a man and they used the kit and had a great one-night stand. The next day, Kenzie discovers her one-nighter was none other than cover man Sam. Her editor, Helena, sends her to Jar Hollow to watch over him under the guise of an additional story. Helena thinks there is a possible curse on the people on the cover of Personality. It seems that the last four people have all had injuries during the week they were featured. Fearful of the bad publicity, Helena wants to make sure this doesn’t happen to Sam. In addition, Kenzie has brought Helena’s Corgi (a little dog who wears sweaters with matching bows) to get her spayed. Sam has agreed to do this for Helena.

Sam lives in the boonies and Kenzie has never walked on dirt (honest to God, that is in the story!). Sam loves animals and Kenzie has allergies to dander. Sam wears jeans and working boots. Kenzie thinks boots means high heeled red calfskin Stuart Weitzmans. Sam lives in a log cabin while Kenzie thinks the wood is smelly. Sam drives a pickup and Kenzie rented a Volvo to go to Jar Hollow.

There are plenty of episodes of “fun” in between the hot sex these two have. There is an incident of a cattle stampede because of a red coat, followed by a skunk spraying and then we have the foal being born. There are small fires, slight concussions, and oh, yes, the ever-fun “slipping and sliding in the manure” episode.

Unfortunately all this occurs with a heroine who is Too Stupid to Live. This is 2004. What woman doesn’t know about dirt? She is completely unbelievable at times. Sam, on the other hand, is a nice guy who just happens to have a heart condition. He decided to move to the hills in order to keep from dying early. He patiently walks Kenzie through all these catastrophes without a shout or a sign of irritation. Mr. Saint is too good to be true!

Add to that the uneven writing and you have a semi-hot sex story with a pretty thin plotline for a book. On one page, I laughed out loud. On the next, I was shaking my head at how stupid these people were acting. Where is Arnold the pig when we need him?

I struggled with this rating because the tone of the book is good, and at times it was fun to read. I enjoyed the romance of the ending, but it is the only real romance in the story. The sex is hot, while not excessively descriptive. I found it hard to get past the inanity of the heroine, however.

Cover Me reads like the old Green Acres show: two worlds colliding but love blossoming. I didn’t much like the TV show, and I guess I didn’t much like this tale either.

--Shirley Lyons


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