Bad Boys Guide to the Galaxy

Temperatures Rising

 
My Favorite Phantom
by Karen Kelley
(Brava, $14, R) ISBN 978-0-7582-2572-6
**
If there is one thing I hate more than cutesy stories it is cutesy stories that think they can take readers for a ride. Talk about a phantom premise, a phantom story, a phantom sense of humor - all for an exorbitant and very real price!

Professor Peyton Cache hires Kaci Melton to get rid of the ghost that has been haunting his recently-purchased old Victorian. She immediately gets a sighting on the gadget she hot-rodded for the occasion. She also gets a real fright. Instead of zapping the ectoplasmic being back to wherever, she jumps into Peyton's bed.

Peyton and Kaci have sex. Kaci takes a shot at the ghost and misses. Peyton and Kaci have more sex. And more sex.

The ghost gets mad. A Mafia-inspired thug called Guido who is after Kaci and her father gets mad. Peyton's rival for a college grant gets mad. Peyton and Kaci have more sex. Peyton discovers Kaci has not been completely honest. He gets mad. They have sex. Kaci discovers Peyton has not been completely honest. She gets mad. They have sex. The end.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention. Somewhere in between all the getting mad and having sex, Kaci tries to make us laugh with her terrible acting skills and with her incompetence at the ghost-frying machine; Peyton does the same when ghostly slime is dropped on him. Ha, ha, ha. A real 272-paged barrel of laughs.

Not.

Especially not at $14.

--Mary Benn


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